intrusive thoughts suggest to me that my birth control pill is so small it may get stuck in a tonsil stone hole and result in pregnancy

amygdalae:

grinding and cramming for finals when I’d rather be grinding and cramming. in like a sex way or something. i guess. i dunno. shuffles away sadly. hits my head on a low-hanging branch and bleeds out in the snow

secret history be like

dailyfoodlovers:

Fuuuck we left the back door open last night andthe whole kitchen got out

scissorsisters:

A Dell laptop passed away peacefully in his sleep last night

scissorsisters:

Spongebob is all about the different ways gay guys can have beef with each other

(via raspberryscuttlebug)

dwinkus:

when I was a kid you had to do the charlie the unicorn voice whether you liked it or not. you had to say candy mountain charlieeee in the voice. not like these days

(via solardivulger)

sovietnam:

(via m0od)

pogasm:

(via solardivulger)

skeuo:

(Source: twitter.com, via 100493503004422)

saoirseronanswife:

amen brother…

booty-uprooter:

imagine if the defunctland guy ever had to testify in court like. the look on the judge’s face when the lawyers call up Mr. Perjurer

(via ostolero)